Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Partners Really


I recently heard a story about a young mother that does everything for her kids. She wakes them up, dresses them, takes them to school, picks them up, bathes them and feeds them. Her husband, a hard working and loving man I'm sure, does not do any of these things. Maybe because he does not know how or maybe because she does not let him. As the story was told to me, I began to get the impression that she does not let him do any of these activities for fear he will mess something up or not do these activities according to her satisfaction. Whatever the case, I felt for her in conflicting ways.
One I was a bit envious that she had the time to do all of these things, all the time as a full time working mother. I would love to pick Trip up everyday from school but with my job that's just not possible. Sometimes I have to work so much that I have to take a break in my day to go see him at the daycare because I will not see him at night. David is just as busy with his new job. So we have a network of friends, family, a wonderful part-time nanny and each other to help out. Guilt is an emotion that many working mothers have to come to terms with and I am no different.
However, I also felt bad for the mother in a different way. I never had a father there for me like David is for our son and its an amazing experience to watch. Dads and their kids need time to do daily activities in Dad's way. I wish I could do everything for Trip but when I see David feeding him or whatever, I feel better. Trip lights up when either of us come into his view (not just me or not just David). That's so cool to me.
So for all the dad's doing daddy duty, thank you. Thanks for every dinner made (even if it's delivery pizza), bath taken (even if you miss the ears), pickup time successfully executed (at 6:59pm) and, yes, every cornrows taken out or put in.


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